This past Monday, our community suffered the loss of a wonderful little girl, Sammy Reagan. She was 12 years old and in sixth grade at Columbia. Here is what our district newsletter had to say:
Sammy Reagan 2000-2013
Sammy Reagan was a happy, vivacious 12-year old who always had a smile on her face. On Monday, Jan. 21, Sammy tragically lost her life in a car accident on I-275. She was the daughter of Jill and Bill Reagan, sister to her twin Jack, and younger brother Brian. Sammy was a sixth grader at Columbia Elementary.
Counselors and Psychologists were on hand at Columbia Elementary Tuesday, Jan. 22, to help students and staff members. Safe rooms were set up for students to have a quiet place to talk and mourn. In an early morning announcement Principal Shelley Detmer-Bogaert told students about Sammy’s death. “I know this news makes all of us very sad and that is okay. Sammy was a wonderful young lady and we will miss her.” She asked students to take good care of each other and to “be kinder than is necessary.”
Sammy loved to play soccer and ski. While a student at South Lebanon Elementary she was student council president.
“Sammy just brought sunshine everywhere she went,” teacher Mike Luke said. “She was a rare student.” Mr. Luke said he will miss Sammy very much. They were often joking around and teasing each other. “I’m just jealous that Jesus is hanging out with her now and not me.”
Another one of Sammy’s teachers, Jessica Collett, described Sammy as “a bright light in the classroom. She loved learning and persevered at everything.”
Everyone who talked about Sammy said how happy she was. “She was friendly with everyone,” Mrs. Collett
So, reading my blog post from last month, reading about how Sandy Hook was the saddest thing I've ever dealt with as a parent, well, it's not. Not any more. This is. She's one of ours. (Not saying the 18 kids that died in CT wasn't sad, it was, of course. This is just right here. I can touch this. I can walk thru my sons' school and see the pain.)
On Monday, the kids didn't have school because of MLK day. I'm sure Sammy's family was just out running errands, having fun, hanging out. The kids and I do that all the time.I know for sure the Reagans did not plan to come home with one less child forever.
I literally cannot imagine the pain. How do you go on? How do you clean out her room? Her toys? What do you tell her brothers? What about all the things she will never do? Start high school? Learn to drive? Get married? She will never have babies.
Our community is covered in orange ribbons. (Orange was Sammy's favorite color.) The neigborhood where the Reagans live is full of kids. EVERYONE knew Sammy. There is not a single house in the subdivision without an orange bow on the mailbox. Kids wore orange to school today. (After a little argument with the principal about a notice from the PTO asking people to wear orange. He asked us to retract the email, saying it could be disrespectful, blah blah blah. Really, there were parents who contacted him, concerned because their kids don't know Sammy, they little, and wouldn't understand. So, they didn't want to explain the situation. Couldn't you just tell them it's orange shirt day?! So, now it isn't a school sponsored thing, but I was there for lunch today and over half the kids were wearing orange. It made my heart happy.) I'm stating right now, if something tragic happens to anyone I love, everyone has the right to do anything they think will make our family feel better. That's all we were trying to do with the "wear orange for Sammy" day.
I came home from lunch duty and see on Facebook, a little girl that has been battling cancer and thought she was clean, well, she has a spot on her lung again and it is cancer. They cannot give her more chemo, her little body cannot handle it. Their last hope is an experimental drug. Why did this happen to Gabby?
Anyway, reading the last blog post and dealing with this loss in our community, it's made me have an enormous amount of anxiety. Why are we the lucky ones? Why have we never had to deal with the sadness of losing a child? I have friends who try and try to even have babies and cannot get pregnant. People who have babies and they have devestating illnesses. People who tragically lose their babies in school shootings or car accidents. It makes me nervous that it could happen... I know we can't live in a bubble, I know we can't protect them from everything. All I can do is love my children more than life itself. More than the air I breathe. Tell them I love them everyday, and kiss them every chance I get, even when they're "too cool". I will be the best mom I can be, and hope for the best.
And, I will mourn with the Reagan family today, and I will keep all these families who aren't as lucky in my thoughts. But, why is it about luck? I don't have the answers, for sure.
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