Monday, December 17, 2012

Be the Good

I have had the most stressful Mommy week of my Mommy life.

Tuesday, Delaney had a doctor's appointment (6 month check up, everything is good.) On the way home, Children's Hospital called and moved up Parker's dental work. to Wednesday. (Yes, less than 24 hours from then.) Ok, no problem, less time to stress and worry. And, I felt like it would be ok because it was 12-12-12, I have a numbers thing, it will be fine.

6 AM, we get up, get everyone going, drop Jackson and Delaney at my parents' house and head downtown. we got there and everything was going well, then the dentist says "30% of the time, this cocktail doesn't work and we have to go a different route." WHAT? I'm giving my kid all these drugs that may not even work? Great...

As Parker's conscious sedation medicine was working, he was so, so funny - he is going to be a blast in college I'm sure. As he was drifting off, they told Ben to go out "to the bathroom". Then me. As I started to leave, Parker fully woke up and said, "No, I'm going. I'm going too!"

So, we get him calmed back down and I go out. About 45 minutes later, the dentist comes out and gets us, they're done. She tells us it got a little complicated, Parker woke up in the end and they had to hold him down to finish. He ended up with 2 baby root canals because he's so small they can't pull the teeth. They had to hold him down... he was covered in sweat and still, 5 days later, has petichiea on his face from them holding so tightly.

When we got home, Parker and I laid down to rest and the school called. I missed the call, but it was the counselor, Jackson was in the office crying. Rewind to Monday - Jackson had a sub. She didn't follow the procedure and give him a warning for talking, she just put him on yellow. He hasn't been on yellow since Kindergarten, so he was in hysterics. (He is such a people pleaser, he doesn't deal well with being "bad.") Well, Mrs. m fell and broke her wrist on Wednesday at school and had to leave, they sub they got... Monday Meanie. Yep.

When he saw her, he just lost it. Crying and crying. The counselor let him call me to calm him down and I missed the call. I called her back and got her voice mail. Left a message and she called him back. He just said "Hi, Mom *sob*" I calmed him down and asked what was wrong. "I just miss you!" I told him I'd be home with him that night and I loved him and he was fine.

Thursday, sad again. He was just so upset. He's never actually crying about school - he loves school and his friends and his teacher. So, I dropped him off and he was still sad, I told him I'd come for lunch so he had something to look forward to.

Parker usually gets out of school at 11:15, Jackson's lunch is at 11:45. I was going to get Parker, take him home to Ben, go back for lunch. Well, at 11, the phone rang. The school. This time it's Parker. "Hi, Mrs. Anderson. Can you please come get Parker? He just threw up." When I got there, I decided to just get them both.

Friday morning, Jackson had an appointment with an orthopaedist at Children's for his hip. We were in the waiting room and he was talking to his uncle, Hunter (Uncle Awesome). I was looking through my phone and saw a post asking where another friend's son went to school. I though, hmm, how random. I had no idea what was going on.

We go in for the appointment, spend about 45 minutes talking to this specialist to learn Jackson is very active. He doesn't have a majillion illness that could cause hip pain, not dysplasia, not arthritis, not anything of significance.  Basically, he is so active he has injured himself. The cure? Stop. Rest. (Uh, ok, did you SEE my son bouncing all over the room while we talked? This is going to be a long recovery.) The plan is to rest and come back in 4 months. He's allowed to still live his life and can start spring soccer, but he is supposed to take it easy. Don't bounce and flip and fall from the car, just get down and walk calmly. This is super hard for Jackson to understand, he's very busy, he is in a constant state of motion.

As we are waiting for lunch, I found out what happened in Connecticut.20 innocent children, born in 2005 and 2006, and 6 teachers and educators murdered in the second worst school shooting in America's history. Jackson was born in 2005. I literally cannot imagine the sadness.

What I thought was the most stressful Mommy week ever just changed entirely. I will take the stress I thought I had over the grief and tragedy the Newtown community is suffering. My condolences go out to them.

I haven't really ever been THIS bothered by anything in my parental life. I'm not sure if it's because I have had such a personally challenging and stressful week and this is just a reminder to be grateful. Last night, President Obama preempted the football game with a press conference to offer his support to the families and community. I was at work so we had the game on with the sound.  He read each victims name. I tried so hard to fight it back but I couldn't it's really hard to pour beers and smile when you're hearing all these names and just thinking about the what ifs.

One little girl in particular had her birthday last week, December 11. I wonder if she had her party yet? Did she get to take treats to school for her birthday? I bet her party would have been Saturday. I bet all these parents have already bought gifts for their kids. I bet they're under their trees and how do you handle that? How do you clean out their room or empty their desk or locker? How do you tell their siblings?

the story of Victoria, the teacher who said her class was in gym but really they were stashed in cabinets? She's the epitome of a hero. She died but her students lived. The custodian who ran through the halls warning of the danger? I don't know his or her name, but I guarantee they saved lots of lives. Little Jessica? She died covering her brother, but he lived.

My friend Erin posted on her facebook that her good friend had a baby over the weekend and his dad posted his picture and said, "8 pounds of hope for the future." and he's right.

My family has been doing Random Acts of Christmas Kindness, and we're going to keep it up all though the year - maybe not a thing a day, but we're doing it. I will have to come up with a cute acronym but I've decided we're living by the "be the change you want to see in the world" mantra and we will just have to keep plugging away everyday - eventually the good will outweigh the bad. Or at least I will naively believe that to keep myself sane.

We cannot live in a bubble, we cannot live in fear. We need to keep going with our lives and remember those that died. And those that risked their lives to save others. We need to Be the Good. (Maybe that's my new saying. If this is your picture, let me know, I'll give you credit. But I'm stealing it. I'm making shirts. I'm living by this saying. Be the good. There is good in the world. We are good.)





Photo: Sharing :)
I have so much more to say, but I have to run, I have to run car pool now and maintain my composure. 

No comments: